I wasn't supposed to be Pretty

I wasn’t supposed to be pretty

My flaws buried me to ugly

The girl with the awkward smile

Scruffy looking, thin hair, bag of bones

The one who was lost, finding identity 

So confident in being so timid. Voice shut.

I wasn’t supposed to be beautiful 

Society says my curves are ugly

My banana breasts, the men mock 

and my acne is shame to behold

Some say I must be dirty

How dare me call myself beautiful?

They said I may be dumb

I needed to prove why I needed to understand

I was supposed to agree with my teachers & leaders,

to nod my head to their every opinion, form of science or religion;

in class or in church

I wasn't supposed to seek understanding

I mean, who am I to ask questions?

I wasn’t supposed to be pretty

My flaws buried me silly

Those secret habits made me ashamed

I should love what my culture loves

But secretly, I am black sheep 

Stones thrown at me in my village 

Did I tell you I am black sheep? 

I tried but I just don’t love what they want

My mind is funny they said.

“Why do you think this way?”

“how strange can you get?”

I told you! 

I wasn’t supposed to be pretty

To be whole, to own me

... with my awkwardness, weirdness, flaws & maybe quirkiness

I was supposed to let society dictate me to me 

I was supposed to wait for acceptance 

I was supposed to give up, to never fight for better.

I wasn’t supposed to be pretty.

But here I am, beautiful and whole.

with a mind of my own.

I am pretty ❤️