Updated: Dec 29, 2022
OMG! 2022 FLEW by so quickly!
How has 2022 been for all of you? Hope it was better than 2020 & 2021. My 2022 was fairly good. I decided to live life more freely, document moments and be intentional about enjoying the good times. I also decided to dip my feet back in the dating pool & wow!
The last time I was in the dating pool was in 2016 and I didn't mind it (ps. I lived in Calgary then). The difference between dating in 2016 & 2022 is how online dating is now the primary medium to meet people and boooy do I dislike it!! I don't know what happened to men, I don't know if it's Toronto or if it's just me but the quality of people online isn't impressive. There is also a chance that I need to be schooled?
I got a good laugh from some people who tried to match. Men have the cheesiest/ corniest or damn right weirdest pick-up lines. I am positive that some of them use the same lines for everyone too lol. Let me share some with you:
"I am with my tatooist right now, which of your selfies should I tatted on my neck?" errrrr aah! Are u a serial killer?
Something about needing a mask because "your smile is more infectious than Covid-19"... LOOOL! what??
The one that said "if you are vaccinated I am not interested" hmmm okay!
The ones whose names on the apps is something like "N.", "C.", "D." LOL! boy bye!
The chatbot. Yes, you read that right
The African uncles, with grammatical errors here & there. One of them said something like "wow you are such a blessing to the world, wow! now I know why they say angels live here with us, just can't get over your beautiful picture. God bless"... Yes, he signed off the text with "God bless"
I actually enjoyed how cheesy this one was, "You are absolutely beautiful, I would definitely enjoy spoiling you"... I thought it was very cute because I enjoy being spoiled so, that is something we both have in common :). Too bad I didn't fancy him.
I think my issue with online dating stems from the fact that I am a visual person. I find it hard to connect with people just by chatting with them. I can't see you, can't read your body language, there is no way to gauge the intonation of your voice, no account of pheromones in the air. Nothing. It's soo blank for me and I have to mentally push myself.
This goes on to my next challenge. It makes me anxious. I get matched with possibly interested people and because I have to mentally push myself to engage with them, I postpone responding to messages and feel anxious afterwards for leaving people on read for a long time. I would often forget about chatting with someone and feel like an ass when I realize. The reason for my anxiety is because some of the men do not deserve to be treated that way; so, yes, I feel bad.
It is difficult to engage. Some of my matches seem rather boring. I feel like something happened during the pandemic because I don't remember it being like this. I know what to do to carry on conversations but I refuse to be the only person doing that. So, what changed in 2022? Maybe men lost how to talk to women? Maybe the fact that we were locked-down for so long in this city is now affecting social interactions? Why is the only thing some people want to talk about work, and why is the conversation so dry...soo dry that I painfully leave you on "read" :(
There are those matches who think soo much of themselves. He matches with you but gives one-liners, and when you ask questions based on their profile they are aloof. I don't waste time to un-match. There are hints on my profile we can expand on, so what is the matter? I think men in this category feel they have so many options so they go with whoever puts-up with their energy. There are a good number of this kind too specifically the black men.
What about those men who are too obvious about only wanting some cookie? I guess it's a good thing so no one wastes anyone's time. I am just usually shocked about their audacity lol.
There are a number of stories I could share but I will share two. There was someone I had been chatting with who asked to meet in person. It was an okay-ish date but at the end, the waiter asked him directly if it was "one bill", he then asked me, "do you mind if we split?"...I mean, I could pay for it so, yes. I was surprised when he asked if I would like to continue the night with him; there was a cool spot he was hoping we go to. I respectfully declined. It was the first time in my life someone asked me on a date and did not pay. It rubbed me off the wrong way.
There was another guy, the most interesting person I matched with and we had good conversations online - he was also the only person I feel like I connected with. We met up and the date was fun, the vibe was right and there was chemistry too. I had planned to be out for about 2 hours but ended up spending the evening together. So, when he asked to see me again at the end of the night, I wasn't surprised and agreed. BUT I felt a bit off when he didn't check-in to see if I got home safe or say anything the next morning. It was such a small thing that meant something to me. The next time I heard from him was a day after, when he tried to schedule meeting-up again.
Anyways, I deleted my dating profile because I doubt online-dating is for me and it made me anxious. The night I deleted it, I slept soo peacefully & had much better rest lol. I don't like that I can't gauge a person's vibe online and that bothers me (maybe a little bit more than it should). It's also difficult to have engaging conversations and 100%, I am not boring in real life -_-
Let me know what your takes are about online dating, does anyone else feel the way I do about it?