After Math

Emotional damage is something we do not talk about and I wonder why.

Actually, I do not wonder. The shame forces your mouth shut

The shame of admitting that you are no longer whole,

The humiliation that your emotions drive you to heights you never wished to reach

That someone as intelligent as you, was wholly foolish too.

While your world is still,

hoping that the universe gives you a break,

lends you a fighting chance and pauses for your sake,

The world moves on when our hearts break.

Be it loss of a loved one, abuse, rejection, drowning sickness, unbearable debt, loss of type,

The world expects you to wake up the next morning with a big smile on your face

Because you are strong, and you are overcoming

As if after a hurricane, the city is miraculously beautifully bright,

like her waters did not take away the sunshine

Overcoming, or not,

No one really cares about the damage traumatic events leave with us

That on some days, the memories tap you while you are in the shower,

and lets the water drip down your body with tears;

That after a supposedly fun day, you go back to your place

hide in the dark, and let your pillows and blanket comfort your broken heart

That you can’t move forward from the pain even when you want to

It is like you want to scream in the streets, but you are wise enough to keep it cool

Everyone expects you to move forward,

even when your feet wont lift

Deep down, you see how your desire and will-power may mean nothing

Stuck in your own mind, as you navigate each day

smiling, nodding, and laughing,

but with a dash of mildly uncontrolled outbursts.

Your desire and will-power mean nothing

There is no magical turn to this.

Maybe letting time do its thing is the trick?

Maybe time really heals and /quiets the pain?

and maybe this is part of overcoming and finding strength?

as we steer onto new lanes to deal with pain,

and learn how to figure things out as they come,

trying to find the little joys we lost,

appreciating the moments our hearts remember to smile,

maybe that's what it is, letting the clock run its cause

Maybe time does make it better.

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© 2018 by Abi Sanni